Starting this New Year, everything bad in my past will make up my self-contrived version of Macondo--- surreal and bizarre, where people is stark and everything will look like a poorly swept windshield. A long dark tunnel will separate my present life and Macondo so that I can easily forget, and if the urge to remember Macondo is strong, the sheer thought of that long dark tunnel will make the urge a wuss. All the bad things that happened in Macondo will not affect me anymore. They will cease to exist. So that someday when I talk of Macondo, it will be like telling a story of a very distant memory, so far that I can tell it with no attachments, no trace of nostalgia, and no sign of returning back.
So that what’s left with me is to move forward. This year, I will start making scenes which end where they begin. I will leave no one hurting and forgotten irresponsibly because of my mockeries and fuck-ups. This year, I will never involve myself with things I can’t end. I guess it’s time for happy endings.
Saturday, January 3
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